Heaven is not so far away

Saturday night I returned from Senior week at Midwest Bible Camp which many of you know is one of the few aspects of my life that keeps me sane. Every time I go to camp I am reminded that there are perfect things in the world. Not that camp is perfect, but it comes so close, its scary. I don't have to act on faith when I'm there. I can see and understand God right there and then without doubt.

When life gets chaotic in real-life, I have to remember camp and what God does there or else i couldn't go on (so I tell myself). I know God's bigger than my feelings, but camp and its memories are one of God's biggest weapons in my life.

I will always be thankful for this wonderful gift. Thank you lord. One of the most intense things I learned at camp this week came from my friend Chris Merches: If it weren't for God, I wouldn't know any of the people I love at camp. Otherwise, why would I go to such a place? This applies to almost all of my friends too. Thank you lord for them.

In a matter of hours after I returned from camp, real-life kicked in with the worst it could dish out at this point in my life. Without going into details, I just had horrible experience after horrible experience involving the Magpie--the most intense I've had in a long time. I couldn't believe it all happened at once so quickly after my utopian experience. I felt like the servants the king sent out to invite guests to his banquet, only to be torn limb from limb by those I'm meant to be Christ to.

So there I was, spiritually bleeding, my heart balling its eyes out to God, and missing camp so badly I was nearly paralyzed. Then a line from an old Phil Joel song went out in the air: "Heaven is not so far away, we will be home someday!"

Thank the lord for Phil Joel (another source of sanity in my life), and especially at that time. I have no doubt that for me, Heaven will look a lot like Midwest Bible Camp, and that a lot of the same people will be there. I am so grateful for these brief glimpses of Heaven prior to the real thing. They keep me going.

When friends asked about my experience, I didn't have a tangible answer that they would understand. I told them that I felt like a soldier returning from a horrible war only in the opposite way. A soldier returns from hell, I returned from heaven. In both cases, the one who returns finds a surreal disconnect from those around him who weren't there to experience it with him. I know that camp is not the fount of God's power in the world, but it's a big one for me. Again, thanks God.

For those who've been there: I love you so much.

I pray that God will help me to take what I've gained there and channel it for his glory in my own life.


On a side note, I'm off to cornerstone in a few days. I'm nervous, but God brought this door to me, he's behind me.

Thanks to everyone who reads these extensive (and often depressing) disertations, and thanks for the encouraging comments. I love you.