Why I want to do film

First of all, it looks like I'm back in the blogging groove again. Thank you God.

Second, here's the background for what follows. I'm in the midst of throwing together a sample work (film) to send out to different film programs in the U.S. This is because, in case you don't remember, I plan on doing graduate work in film after my bachelor's.

At the moment, I'm probing campus, looking for resources for students embarking on such a project. I sent out my third draft for the script to a few faculty members for literary and technical review. One emailed back and among other questions asked "What is your interest in film?" Weeeelllll...the following is what he got in reply. Way more than he bargained for. But I needed to write it for myself too so I could gain some clarity to my goals and motivations.

NOTE: there's a lot of un-educated pretentious babble on technical stuff that I don't really know anything about yet, but I still need to remember. IF YOU READ NOTHING ELSE, at least read the italicized section below. That's the most important part of this post--to people other than myself.

Here' goes:

Thanks for responding. The key word to describe me is "un-trained." As far as formal training goes, the 10-minute plays course has been my only one. I've read a few books on screen-writing (Story; Robert Mckee and Stealing Fire From the Gods), but of course, they only supplement--true knowledge and skill is derived from experience and feedback (i.e. getting your hands dirty).

I can't explain exactly how my interest developed except that it just never stopped developing. As a child I apparently had sizable chunks of the musical score for the Ten Commandments memorized and was parading around reenacting the scenes and belting out the queues. At this point in my life, I can safely say I'm just a junkie for feeling, and I always have been.

I trace my development of discernment back to musical scores. I grew up watching Michael Mann's Last Of The Mohicans, Braveheart, the original Star Wars Trilogy (of course), the Tim Burton/Joel Schumacher Batman films, and the like. My experience of those movies is so tied in with the music--how it fit, the rise and fall, does it stand alone, etc.

As I got older of course, I started to develop more perceptions to view a film through. The next was what I thought of as "directing." With DVD documentaries now commonplace, I began to understand (remotely) what it is that a director actually does. This element of film making is where I have my sights pointed.

I realize that directing involves tons of mundane management tasks that don't get glamorized, but I can learn some of that in a business setting. I realized that a good director must know about everything that his/her crew do in order to appropriately lead them. I observed that some directors just don't have a good understanding of what an actor does or needs for a good performance. In some cases, I realize that some directors just don't have a conception of what a good acting performance is. This started me on my journey of acting.

I tried filming myself, and recording myself to see if I knew anything about acting and of course, I don't (or very little). I understand how to make a character look heroic or sexy, but how does one make a performance real, connect with the viewer. How does one transform, create a person who others understand through subtext and garner sympathy (David in AI), endearing (Gandalf the Grey in Fellowship of the Ring), disgust (Tim Roth in Rob Roy), pity (The Phantom in POTO), or reverence (Superman)? How? I have two tests for these skills, the first being similarity with other roles (who knew Johnny Depp could actually act until his monumental turn as Jack Sparrow?--don't laugh it's true.). The second test is how well can an acting performance stand under a rotten script? (think Hugo Weaving in V for Vendetta). You can tell when an actor means it and when they're just hogging screen time. It's conviction.

Next, I turned to more technical aspects. What is it that makes a movie feel inspiring vs. gloomy? I attribute this to lighting and visual design (a broad term I know). One of my favorite visual films to study is Micheal Mann's "Heat". I don't quite understand how, but he and his crew managed to conjure images that just exude the loneliness and beauty of L.A. How does he do it? How can a city be so mind bogglingly huge, yet so connected an unified? How does one find identity in such a landscape? These are questions that aren't in the script, but very present in the visual palette.

Next I started paying attention to editing. I get so put off by poorly edited films, and yet, I don't quite understand how to do it well myself. It's a perception at this point, not a skill-set, as with all of these elements. I love studying the differences between a frantic battle, suspense scene, tragic scene and some of the more subtle but exceedingly beautiful editing tapestries (like Sense and Sensibility). To me, good editing is like watching good music. It stimulates some of the same parts of my brain as music does. I've also began to study sound, but that tends to overwhelm me in prospect.

Recently, I've studied the effects of writing on a film. Sometimes the writing (right now I mean dialog) is overly good (Glengarry Glen Ross) and distracting, way under-done (any Star Wars prequels) or just the right level of theatricality in speech (Network). Most recently, I've started to try and understand why some stories last, and why some don't. I look at the great stories and try to make the connections to myself. I believe that a great story is one that taps into the deeper spiritual, subconscious realm. In a very cerebral sense, "What does this have to do with me as a human being?" Therein lie some of the elements that stories use to change our lives.

Why am I doing this? Again, the best way to describe it is I'm an emotional junkie. I just want to FEEL!! I've found my drug in story. I'm a very spiritual person and that's where I've found most of my meaning in life. the other is in other people. My friends and family. But story has helped me tremendously to deal with and understand real life. Story reveals truth. I trust in story because I believe that it comes from deeper carnal places in human beings. We all have it in us, but it comes out in different ways.

My goal and reason to do film, is that I just want to help others to feel the way I do when I watch a good movie. it's that simple. As a christian, I would love to see the world turn to God, but that's not going to happen. I believe that I'm meant to show God to people through film (or music: see below). Many have come before me with the belief that what makes a viewer turn to God is evangelism (aka crap on celluloid passing as film). Essentially, these people have sought to propagandize their audience and history has shown time and time again that human beings don't respond well to that. It rarely works. I believe that real humans would respond to a real God through a real story. The key to that is honesty. I've learned so much about life and God through stories that weren't written with a specific agenda. These stories found their genesis in the soul, and that's where they found their home as a viewer.

One thing to understand is that I have an appreciation for many types of artistic expression that would render the ends above. Chief among them is music, and that's what my pool of existing talent is primarily made of. However, the kinds of music and performance that I'm interested in don't require any kind of schooling; that's why I'm not studying music anymore. Film however, does require training. Success in this business doesn't happen by accident. That's why I'm pursuing film as a career. If it just so happens that an opportunity in music comes up first, I'll take advantage of it. Until then, I'm pursuing film.

The good news is, I could be happy doing just about anything in film, just so long as I got to be a part of it. But that also makes choices more difficult.

Sorry for the excessively long discourse. I wrote this to answer your questions, and also to clarify some of my motivations in my own head. I hope this all makes sense.

Again, I realize that I have a ton of technical and skills training (and wake-up-calls no doubt) before I reach my goals, but at least I know whats coming.

About the script: remember, its only a 3rd draft which I will revise after I get some feedback from yourself and some other faculty and peers.

Thanks very much for taking time to dialog with me.

Cade Loven.

Isaiah 40

I'm incorporating that "teach me lord" song into one of my own songs as a bridge. I'll post it sometime. Anyway, I'm really feeling this right now.

"To whom will you compare me?
Or who is my equal?" says the
Holy One.
Lift your eyes and look to the
heavens.
Who created these?
He who brings out the starry host
one by one
and calls them each by name.
Because of his great power and mighty strength,
not one of them is missing

why do you say, O Jacob,
and complain, O Israel,
"My way is hidden from the Lord;
my cause is disregarded by my
God?"
Do you not know?
Have you not heard?
The Lord is the everlasting God,
the Creator of the ends of the
earth.
He will not grow tired or weary
and his understanding no one can
fathom.
He gives strength to the weary
and increases the powerof the
weak.
Even youths grow tired and weary,
and young men stumble and
fall;
but those who hope in the Lord
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like
eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint.

--Isaiah 40: 25-31

New quote (What I'm learning at Luther #7)

Overheard in one of my classes--I kid you not:

"My critical thinking skills are slim to none. This class is hard."


!!!!!!!!....Ha!!!

What I'm learning at Luther #5 & #6

#5: An experiment in chemistry:

I was awake around 24 hours. I had a cold from hell. I took Nyquil so I could get sleep (2 hours before final exam). I woke...and I discovered that the house was rocking back and fourth and that my eyes had lost the ability to focus. Woke up Seth and had him drive me in for my final exam.

Lesson: (Nyquil + beaten college student) X final exam =disaster.

I'm finding out all kinds things at this school.




#6: A question in Accounting:

I understand that institutions of higher learning tend to harass their alumni and beg for money...

My knee-jerk reponse: "Oh dear, did you miss the $30,000 a year that got slipped under your door? Something does not compute..."

What I'm learning at Luther #4 (this one's not gross) :)

A question in Religion:

I just happened to notice that it's snowing outside...a lot.

And I thought:

Has anyone else realized that when there's snow outside, we get to walk on water?