Some Sincere Prayers

At this moment, I am overcome with a desire to achieve my earthly dreams. I want to succeed, I want to blaze my trail and best all obstacles that stand in my way. I want to release the burdens I have accumulated for so many years and wish so much that one day, others would be as blessed by them as I have been.

I see defeat all around me, but my hope is to be one of the exceptions, to be a hardened survivor of my life's hurdles.

As I outlined in my post "Envy," my motivations for these desires run the risk of vanity and selfishness. Do I really want to create for God or do I want to create for me?

My prayer is that I would find fulfillment in these areas. I pray that either you would take away my desire and relieve my burdens. Or, I pray that you would grant me contentment, so that I can live with my imperfection and learn to be patient. Or, I pray that the release of these would come soon--so I can move on.

All that to say, I pray that these desires would not overrun my life. I have lost sight of my greatest need--to know and experience you. In my heart I know that nothing is more important or worthy of my attention than your spirit. But in my flesh, I am pulled and torn in so many directions--my life is crowded and I cannot see you anymore. I forget what it means to see you in everything like I used to. I could see your hand in every event, every moment, every molecule--the vast work of art that is the natural world and the universe which contains it.

Now, at best, I see your shadow. I know what I believe but now it is not obvious anymore; I have to fight so hard because my feelings betray my faith in you. I do not feel you or even want you anymore sometimes. But your presence and voice are so distant and I am afraid that I will never return to that place with you again.

Please roar with the voice of lions, call with the thunder of the ocean, rise from the smoldering ashes and kindle the flame that has always been my light.

I ask that you not abandon me, but I also want you to know that I will not abandon you either. Everything I have, everything I know has been given to me. I do not craft my life, I submit to it.

To the author of life: be the author of my life.

Please help me to live with grace.

Please show me how to love my friends.


Tell me the truth, and then take me home.

I long for you.

The Cutest

What is the cutest thing?

Little little kids with winter hoods and/or mittens.