Right here

I swear, sometimes I wonder if I'm living in a dream. I'm having one of those days where everything is right. It's so hard to describe, but as I examine my life around me I'm feeling this freedom knowing I'm where I'm supposed to be: right here.

I find myself in this state of mind from time to time that nothing matters but fulfilling God's will, like it's a single act that lies somwhere in the future. I feel like there's this goal that's been hidden from me that I must find and fulfill, or I will have failed God. It's like no matter what I do, I can't win. I can't fill my place in this world.

Right now that burden's gone. I'm God's child, and all I have to do is love him back. Yestreday I finally met Levi Abbot-Russel and Elisheva's baby boy. When I saw him, he was fast asleep in this pouch thing hanging on Russel's shoulder. He looked so peaceful, there was no worry about life, or where it would take him. He was safe, and Russel was there to love and pad him. I was overcome with this image when I realized that we are the same with God. I am God's baby!! Through all the struggles and weaknesses that i must push through, God wants us to be his babies!

It seems so hard to let go and embrace this gift, but I have tonight. If only I could remember God when life is hard and heavy. He's here! No matter where I am, my creator is here! I'm in tears as I write this. There is no secret or answer I must discover, only Jesus. He's my father, and I'm his baby.